When insecurity probes...

Are you extremely happy with the way things are going on in life? Is everything picture perfect? Do you feel you have a lot of friends, loving people around you and yet a few people who pose themselves to be your competitors. (Yet, you secretly know that they aren't a match to you)

Does your life seem to be going on without any tides of misery, insecurity or unhappiness? (when it comes to your career or intellectual aspirations) Well, this might be a rare phenomenon which might happen to only two kinds of people in the world. Either you are an obtrusively content person (I'd rather call it saintly) or you have achieved something 'top of the world'.

Probably, you can be saintly by nature and feel contented with whatever life showers on you. That way, I'm really happy for you. Cuz you have probably won over life's rigmarole of changing desires. But the other way... you presume that you have won something 'top of the world'. This is a pretty dangerous tide to surf on.

In life, we can never assume that we have reached the top rung of the ladder. If you assume so, you will have nowhere but to get back down. Life throws insecurities, desires, wants and demands in multitude at you. It also throws talents and instances where you involuntarily outlay your talents and other people recognize them in you.

These are nothing but opportunities that flow down to you like angels from the sky that scream out your name and call upon you to achieve greater heights.

When you feel absolutely secure and happy in a place that holds your intellectual altitude or your career. You need to halt and think again. Have you chosen the right path, afterall?

When the feeling of insecurity about your progress probes you to think more, you are actually put in the right track. Rather, the untrodden path through which you might probably discover whatever you are destined to acquire. Otherwise, there might only be stagnation all the way.

So go ahead! Welcome insecurity into your life. It is the best precursor for reinstatement of your self-worth as it provokes you to revisit your intellectual altitude, your goals and aspirations for the times ahead.

For someone once said, "If you are the wisest man in the room, you're in the wrong room".

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The New Generation of Politics: Public Welfare

History repeats itself, I'd say. The noticeable and well-structured protests by the AAP against many facets of the ruling government are commendable and absolutely Gandhian. I was nothing but surprised when I saw the drastic changes that resurfaced Delhi right after the recent elections.

A new regime, fresh minds and spirits dedicated to bringing innovations to improvement of citizen welfare, crusading against corruption and misuse of power is the need of the hour for the capital as the crime and corruption rates have been at an ever increasing rate in the recent times.

The new measures brought in, right from the denial of perks by the MLAs, banishment of the Delhi VIP culture and the dharna for suspension of the corrupt police officers of the AAP might be perceived as nothing but publicity stunt by many media critics. But what is to be noted here is that every measure taken has given undeniable success by the accomplishment of the goals for which the measures had been taken in the first hand.

The refurbishment of unused buses as a temporary shelter for the homeless in Delhi, free water supply to the Delhiites as promised and the measures taken to handle the officers for dereliction of duty regarding the narcotic check in 2 Ugandan women and negligence of fast track measures regarding the rape of the 51 year old Danish woman, are highly commendable. 

As an innocent citizen who sees nothing for or against the AAP, I'd most definitely be glad to notice and appreciate the revolutionary changes brought about by the ruling govt. of Delhi. It is by far, the need of the hour for the Delhi govt., I'd rather say, the Indian Government.

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Diplomacy in convolution

How many times have we been involved the hush-hush back stabbing politics around the convoluted cluster of the relationships that we strive to maintain? How many times have we fought over issues that are trivial and have absolute non-connectivity to the self? How many times have we wasted our time supporting a person or a cause that we believe to be right but doesn't involve us in any way?

I bet each one of you would have encountered at least a single situation from the above. And the worst part is, to not know to handle the challenge diplomatically.

A relationship, simply put, is nothing but the rapport that we maintain with people. To maintain the rapport without any stepping stone is a definite challenge in the corporate world, especially when you are emotionally high all the time.

I will tackle this on the basis of a few situations that we might primarily face at our college/work place/ personal life.

Situation 1: Facing a bunch of new friends and handling the initial attitude that they potray towards you, especially when you are vulnerable.


When you handle a bunch of new friends, being zip-mouthed is the statement implied in the bible. You never know who is the faker and who is the wide-mouthed, so you should be doubly careful to not let out your apparent vulnerability.

The initial attitude that some may show you is bound to be welcoming and pleasant, but some are  non-chalant. Being mutually receptive to them is very commendable and being plesant to those who are non-chalant is even more important. Breaking the fragile layer of non-chalance about you in that person might blossom a beautiful friendship between you both.

From my personal experience, people who appear to be non-chalant in the beginning are always good company when they get to know more about you.

Situation 2: When it comes to handling the opposite sex:

Relating to someone from the opposite sex is always a plesant surprise and sometimes it might be dissapointing too. It is always healthy to move with people from the opposite sex without any inhibitions because you get to discover new dimensions to people, new aspects to relating with them and most importantly you are less vulnerable and more exposed.

Initially, relating to the opposite sex might appear to be tough, especially for people who are clouded with inhibitions. But when you diplomatically place the role of the person without getting emotionally attached to him/her, the relationship is a definite hit. (By relationship here, I mean the rapport and nothing personal)

It is very important that you fill their shoes and think what you will do, in every situation the relationship goes deranged. That will help you revive the relationship and might add new dimensions to your capacity of thought.

Situation 3: You are being backstabbed and you are absolutely aware of it.

So your friends are bitching about you behind your back and playing candy in front of your eyes and you know all of this. Relax, take a deep breath and think. Who was the messiah of the bloodied dagger? Who was the one who conveyed this to you? Or did you notice it by yourself? (probably eavesdropped?)

If it is from a reliable source, think twice. What was it that made them talk behind your back that way? What was the mistake on your side that disappointed them? Try to correct it.

When they play candy in front of you, you have no reason to melt out the cream. You play candy too. Don't drop high levels of turmoil into you and swivel with guilt and hate. Just relax and keep outlaying your positives rather than showing out your anger on them and spoiling the relationship.

And when the time is right, deal it with them directly and sort it out.

Situation 4: Taking sides in a fight that doesn't involve you.

Been there, done that? I bet!
When two of your close friends are in a perrinneal fight, taking it as an opportunity to gossip about one to the other is pretty dangerous. It might add fuel to the fire and put you in dark waters. For when they get back together, the first thing they might end up talking is about you.

When something doesn't involve you, fighting for what you believe to be right is foolish. Abstaining from talking to one friend in the name of staying loyal to your closer friend is absolute folly. Why spoil the rapport you share with someone just because you have taken the side of another?

Be diplomatic and completely avoid talking about the issue to your friends. Stay away from accusing the other even when it is only a hush-hush to the opponent-friend. What you can do best here is to comfort both of them saying that everything is going to be alright and that there might have been some mis-communication between the two. Say no more.

Diplomacy is extremely important when handling people. For our minds are the speediest and the most complicated convulsions of all that is under the sun. There is nothing wrong in staying neutral, for being a friend of all is more important than being the most blinded and best friend to a person who might be a potential faker.

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Ideologies that inflame

How can you stay in absolute normality when the world around you is in a complete manic state? Is it even remotely possible? Every single day there are riots, communal disruptions, terrorism, rapeathons, rabid mob attacks and to top the cake with whipped cream, there are the never ending politics about who is on power and who is not!



It was a just a while ago when I was staring in a state of shock at the detailed show on the religious violence in Myanmmar and the footage of a single muslim being attacked by a raving mob of buddhists and people from the other sects.

It was absolutely agonising to see the terror that seeped into the man's face,who took the blow and more terror seeped into me when I saw the manic crowd beating him to fatal injuries. There was also this footage on the Muslims attacking the monasteries and buddhists, in turn, ruining their mosques and burning down the houses.

This has been prevelant all over the world and among all the religions that exist and are extinct among the human population.

I have a few questions for you all to answer. Why do humans divide themselves into different groups, castes, sects, communities, religions, states, countries and governance? Why do we mull over something that is just an ideology and not even reality?

Religions might be real, scriptures might be true and you might probably full-heartedly believe in them. But why do we humans identify ourselves with a set of scriptures and defend mere ideas and risk it with our lives?

Why do we create societal unrest for a word spilt in the air and bring down buildings, cities and human life? If we are doing all the above,what is the difference between us and the rest of the clan that God has most generously created in this world?

Whom do we have to protect from our brotherhood and whom do we have to condemn? While we live, we occupy land that is the exact measure of both our feet and when we die, a slightly bigger piece for our body to rest upon. And in the middle of our short lives, do we actually have to bleed and let bleed our comrades?

Awaiting answers that enlighten. For freedom of expression should not be an ideology, but reality.

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Emoting to influence

Before you start reading further, think what emoting is all about and how does it help us big time in relating to the people around us. Now what is emoting according to you?

Let me start with my perspective on emoting. I personally find that emoting is all about freedom of expression. There is no single yardstick to set standards for emoting and it basically involves facial reactions, body language, the posture, the tone of voice, the words one chooses to use while addressing people and hand gestures.
                         
                                         

While delivering a public speech, one can seem to appear confident enough by his body language and smile, but the words he uses and the tone of voice he chooses to deliver them to the public will outlay his nervousness in abundance.

Also the eye contact he/she makes with the audience is an extremely important mode of emoting. In order to appear confident, one has to make constant eye contact with the audience frequently in order to gain their trust on what he is to speak.

A voice that is feeble and low will not appeal the audience. A confident voice which has a great throw will always catch the attention of the audience. An interactive session will also probe them on the topic that the speaker is addressing thereby making the audience more involved in the session.

Coming to the part about hand gestures, frequent waving or gesturing to the public might make the speaker animated and funny at times. This might prove to be a big time distraction away from the topic that is to be addressed. Typically put, the audience must be involved in the speech rather than the speaker.

A confident and straight body posture might add value to the speaker among the audience. Maintaing a rigid body posture might show out signs of nervousness or stage fear while an extremely careless posture may prove the speaker to be overconfident. Both of these styles don't work out on capturing the attention of the addressee . Rather, if the speaker appears to have a normal body posture, the audience feel more invited.

Wrong facial reactions at the wrong time might send out alarmingly wrong messages to the audience. Keeping facial reactions to a minimum might help the audience concentrate more on the content of the speech rather than the speaker.

The most significant feature that makes a great speech is the tone of voice that the speaker adopts while delivering his speech. You can make a request, command, threaten or influence people all with the same words, but the different tones of speech that you choose to experiment with. You can appal or mock cartloads of audience with a few simple words but a great tone of voice.

Emoting properly with all possible facets of expression will help you take off well in a public speech. Emoting should be conciously done to influence people to listen and adhere to what you say, not only while addressing a large crowd but to generally relate to the people around you.

When used properly it can make you a great influencer and you will be able to make greater impact in other people. It also increases the trust that the addressee has in you (the speaker). Start slow by practicing to emote well in your day-to-day life and increase your yardstick everyday to greater heights and greater influencing. Happy emoting! 

What is what?

I wanted to address this issue here because it is a very profound issue that the human kind is in turmoil with. What is what? Before we go into the topic in detail, shall we discuss something else too?

When we see a person, a place or a thing, we always have some opinion in our mind, right? Something like.. How beautiful is this flower.. or how ugly is this person! OR how gross is this thing! According to our trail of thoughts in our secretive minds, our facial reactions change from yewww to wow or vice versa. (Mind you! It is no more a secret!)

Now let me get on to the fundamental issue I was supposed to address. I shall start this with a question. What is beautiful and what is ugly or gross according to you? Does it determine anything true or is it false?

What is pleasant or unpleasant according to you? Why does it determine your postive or negative behaviour towards that thing/person/place? Is there a rule book where people who are dark/ stout/ bald/ old/ very thin or however you percieve ugliness to be are supposed to be called/treated as ugly? Or are the people who are slender/ fair-complexioned/ young/ attractive or however you percieve beauty to be are supposed to be called as beautiful and treated accordingly?

I am sure there is no rule book as such and all these factors are based on man's mind and his perceptions on things. Then why should man treat his kin according to the complexion of their skin/ their facial features or their body shape or even the size of their wallet?

Do give it a thought, guys! In this world, who is ugly and who is beautiful? Who is gross or who is attractive? When there is nothing implied or stated in any kind of rule book either constitutional or spiritual, why do we treat others according to the conditioning of our minds?

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Being perfect with perfection

What does it mean to be perfect? Does the word 'perfect' have an exact dictionary meaning? Of Course, all words have. These are the different meanings listed in a dictionary.

per·fect

  [adj., n. pur-fikt; v. per-fekt]  Show IPA

adjective

1.

conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an idealtype: a perfect sphere; a perfect gentleman.

2.

excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement: There is no perfect legal code. The proportions of thistemple are almost perfect.

3.

exactly fitting the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose: a perfect actor to play Mr. Micawber; a perfect saw forcutting out keyholes.

4.

entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings: a perfectapple; the perfect crime.

5.

accurate, exact, or correct in every detail: a perfect copy.

Now, given the meaning, I shall ask you 'What do you mean by flaws?' I am sure that you would provide the dictionary meaning or definition which might not even be universal. God or whatever you call it, nature or supernatural or anything, has sprinkled a sense of wildness in every existence. 

Do you remember? When you go out of control, you go wild. But have you ever wondered of what do you go out of control? It doesn't mean you have gone out of control of anything great. You have gone beyond the pangs of a society. 

The society is man-made and tries to instill a sense of dread and discipline in every being's character by birth. In some ways, it might be advantageous but in many other ways it is just pinning down the natural sense of wildness in every being. 

Every creation of (let's call it God) is uneven, unequal but non-chaotic. Man's system of the society or organizations try to make everyone perfect but end up in utter turmoil and chaos. On the surface of the Earth, there are mountains, plains, ditches, deserts and the ocean. In the sky, we can find the plain blue sky painted with embossed and irregular white and dark clouds, the Moon/Sun and the distant, twinkling stars. 

How will it be when there are cemented pavements everywhere instead of the randomness that the Earth holds? How will it be if all oceans are transparent, reflecting it's own perfect colour according to man and his society? Quite a drag, right?

Then why, as creations of God, we are always in the quest to find perfection? What is wrong in being the way you are, created by the perfectionist of his own way?